Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Day 17,129: The Ride of My Life


Sunday was my husband's 50th birthday.  His wish was to spend the start of it at the local amusement park.  So for a few hours, I accompanied him from rollercoaster to rollercoaster.  He rides them.  I watch.  It gave me a lot of time to sit in the shade and contemplate how these contraptions are a lot like life, with rises and falls, twists and turns.  The key is to be exhilarated by the ride rather than terrified of it ... to say hell yes rather than sit out.

We successfully delivered our daughter to college last Friday.  This transition has been its own unique experience with stomach-lurching and breath-taking ups and downs for us all.  Each day gets easier, yes, but my mama senses are heightened in a way that they haven't been since after she was born.  I am at the ready in whatever way she may need me, but from a distance and with some restraint.  It's important that she knows that I know she can do it ... figure things out on her own.  It's empowering.  It's exhausting.

I am easing into this new chapter of my life like a steaming hot bath.  At this point, I am halfway in but still halfway out.  The more that my daughter relaxes into her new life and finds her bearings within it, the more that I embrace the freedom I have to do the same.  I have crystals to wrap.  I have classes to teach.  I have a brimming heart, willing hands, and an unshakable knowing that I've got more to share than I can possibly perceive at this point.  As one foot is put in front of the other, this new chapter and all of the opportunities held within it will be revealed.

I am deeply grateful for all of it and can't wait to see how it all unfolds ...

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