Fred's caregiving continues. Yesterday, we had a home visit from an angel ... Tammy Wynn from Angel's Paws. She will assist us with keeping Fred comfortable and preparing for his transition at home, when the time comes. We can call her any time of day with questions, concerns or to come over as needed. Knowing this gives us tremendous peace of mind, so we can focus on loving on Fred and enjoying the remaining time that we have with him. His pain medication is helping a lot and there have been recent days when it seems like we have our boy back. But we are realistic about how this will play out and do not want him to suffer, so we are prepared (as we can be) to be ready when the time comes to let him go. In the meantime, we are living in this rather solemnly awkward in-between. Waves of sadness frequently catch me off-guard and start to sweep me away. I falter. I flail. But somehow gratitude always comes to the rescue and manages to keep me afloat.
As Fred grabbed a nap beside me, the morning sun came streaming through the living room window upon me at just the right angle to create this magic. For a few moments, I was annointed by the light. Through it I am reminded and assured that everything is going to be okay. Moment by moment. Hour by hour. Day by day.