Monday, July 5, 2010

Day 16,343: Thirty Days

I never considered myself to be much of a football fan, but my husband has been watching the Hard Knocks marathon this weekend and I have to confess that I've become hooked on it too. If there weren't so many other things that I would rather be doing with my free time, it really wouldn't be a problem, but chronic TV watching is something that I do my best to avoid. I do better some days than others and those others are typically days when I am stuck in procrastination mode.

It is a special kind of hot here in southwestern Ohio. The air is thick, moist and burdensome. Afternoons may be misery, but I swear that I love the mornings and evenings of deep summer that trigger memories of the pre-air-conditioned summers of my childhood. Lately, it's been a joy to journal outside in the morning while the breeze still has the slightest chill to it. It's a relatively limited window of opportunity, but I seize it on the days when I'm able.

This morning I journaled about the power of and possibilities within 30 days when they include intention(s). I had big plans for this whole month of July, but I blinked and here we are already five days into it. Thankfully, no one said that I had to start everything on the first of the month. Last time I checked, anytime is a good time to start anything worth starting fresh.

Having a full-time job and trying to find time for my "arts" is no small feat. I would go so far as to say that I have been failing miserably at it for longer than I care to admit to myself. The job is not entirely to blame. Yes, it demands a certain amount of my energy and a specific number of hours each week. Most evenings it feels like enough to have dinner with my family and then call it an early night to rest up for the next day ahead.

But today I've been contemplating just how much time I give away to television and the computer. Time that I swear I don't have in the first place. (Please don't make me keep a log.) So I started chewing again on 30 days. What is beckoning me now and how might my circumstances shift for the better if I said yes to them for 30 days in a row? I've seen a lot of people appear to have very good luck with this concept. Maybe it's worth a try.

I know from experience that if I keep making the same excuse repeatedly, I will make it true. This is precisely what has happened with "I don't have time." When art and self-care fall off of my priority radar, which they unfailingly do in tandem, my workbench grows dusty, this blog goes to seed, and I start to feel so lowly and out of sorts that I wonder if something is really wrong with me. If I love it and it makes me feel good, then shouldn't I just naturally want to do it without having to push myself into it? Well no, not if enough time has passed. Once these things are daily habits again, the flow can and will return with ease. But, for now, it may be necessary to prime the pump ... and I suspect that priming the pump will take about 30 days.

1 comment:

Sandra said...

Interesting. I also spend too much time on the computer instead of writing, or anything else. I made a commitment lately to run everyday, which has helped. I'm actually (mostly) doing it. It helped to not make it a decision - everyday, I run. It wasn't even all that hard. I'm also perplexed by why we have to sometimes force ourselves to do what is good for us and feels good. A mystery.