Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Standing Up

People often stand me up. It's been going on for years. Others have noticed it too, so it's not just in my head. Except that it is in my head.

I could be wrong here, but it's my personal theory that that we send out energetic signals as to how we expect to be treated. And, if this theory holds true, which for me it seems to do, it's tough medicine to swallow. What we don't acknowledge grows bigger and all medicine, no matter how bitter the pill, is ultimately for our highest good.

It's cyclical for me ... being stood up, so after the most recent incident, I took the time to meditate on why I keep creating this pattern in my life. That's when it dawned on me. The times when I am stood up by others are in the days and weeks immediately following a significant situation where I've stood up myself.

Ouch. I had to sit with that revelation for awhile.

About a month ago, I had crafted a plan for myself. A program of sorts. Something that not only appeased my Virgo ascendant, but felt pretty close to perfect for where I was (and still am) in my life. I will spare you the nuts and bolts of it, but there was a unique window of opportunity to begin this plan on August 26. My husband's birthday. Exactly 42 days before my birthday. Auspicious. Ambitious, too. Every time that I checked in with myself about it, just to be sure, I felt nothing but yes-yes-yes!

All that I had to do on Day 1 was show up. But when August 26 came around, despite all of the bright red circles around it on my calendar, I never left the gate. I feigned amnesia. What plan?

So, yeah, I stood myself up. Big time. Again. And it didn't take long for those with whom I'd make plans thereafter to stand me up as well. It wasn't their fault. They couldn't help it. They can't treat me any better than I am willing to treat myself.

Lesson learned.


Beth H said...

that's all I could think of when I read this.
and then, you're not going to stand yourself up this weekend, right?! I was at the labyrinth last week. so lovely.

Annette said...

I second Beth's statement...kindof a speechless 'oh'
Really, I'm not sure what I want to say....Congratulations? I'm sorry?
'Thank you for sharing' sounds especially lame, but I'm glad you did.