Thursday, November 1, 2012

Day 17,193 Gratitude: Birth

November is here.  Those who know me well know that this is the start of what I call Dark Time.  Moving forward from now through February requires me to muster fortitude that it takes all year to store.  I am wired to need sunshine and warmth to thrive.  Without them, I sleep.  A lot.  I start to avoid going out.  And some days it gets hard to shake the blues.  Rarely do I forget that this too shall pass, things will get better ... brighter days will return.  But this in no way means that it doesn't scare the hell out of me when my trusty bag of tricks provides no relief.

So drawing the Birth card this morning made me wonder.  Maybe this is the year that things could be different.  Maybe this Dark Time won't be so, um, dark.  Maybe all it takes is a fresh new perspective, the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe this is a beginning, an opening, rather than a period of shutting down.

Let's face it, like it or not, contrasting conditions are character building.  They also make great fodder for art.  Just as we must push our way from the womb into this world, we must push our way through the winter into each spring.  It's easier for some than others.  But for all it's an act of faith.  Trusting in the literal light at the end of the tunnel.  We have to go through the darkness, maybe even get stuck at times, in order to get to it.  For the knowing that it's there, I am so deeply grateful.

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