Monday, November 5, 2012

Day 17,197 Gratitude: The Care and Feeding of Uncertainty

From out of the blue, a potential opportunity landed in my lap this morning.  All surprises, be they good or bad, tend to throw me out of orbit, at least initially.  I was shocked, then flattered and finally wrecked by this prospect.  This isn't an offer that I would have sought out.  In fact, I thought that I had been running in the opposite direction of its kind for many years.  So, in its own way and for many reasons, the idea of turning around and pursuing it feels like a step backward despite the inherent advancement.  The first whiff has that pungent note of giving up.  The first impression is unmistakably play-it-safe.  And yet there are many important reasons why it would be crazy for me not to consider saying yes.  How are we supposed to know if that which we are resisting is really what is best (and blessed) for us?  I am torn and troubled.

So tonight, for the first time in six months, I got my butt out the door and then put it on my yoga mat in the safe circle of class.  I did something else that I've resisted ... returned to my body and breath.  With a tear or two, I surrendered yet again to what has become a familiar traveling companion this year.  Uncertainty.  For the answers that I trust are forthcoming and the perfect path for me that I trust is unfolding, I am deeply grateful. 

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