Monday, November 26, 2012

Day 17,218 Gratitude: Steady Courses and Tricky Terrains


With full hearts and stomachs, we safely tucked our daughter back into her college dorm yesterday.  It helped us to remember and remind each other that we would be back soon to fetch her for the month-long Christmas break.  But it was still a somber five hour drive, half of it with her and half without, no matter how much we tried to fa-la-la it.  Eastern Ohio in November is all sullen sky and barren landscape ... fodder for deep thoughts about life's changes, which can be its own tricky terrain.


I had assumed that I would be self-employed by now, conjuring a livelihood through some patchwork configuration of a creative life, but content in the meantime (i.e. the last 12 years) to work my traditional job primarily from home.  But here I am, blinking in front of the computer as I complete my application for a position that will require my presence in an office, full-time.  Something I swore that I would never do again.  Something that makes absolutely no sense in light of what thought I wanted.  And yet, somehow, something that makes perfect sense after all.  Or will.  I hope.

If we can't be completely fearless in the face of change, maybe we can muster a little faith or keep an open mind.  Sometimes we can't know what's waiting for us until we say yes to the invitation and then follow through, come what may.  The clearest view is always in hindsight.  For a steady course despite the limited visibility, I am so deeply grateful.

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