It started yesterday afternoon with unexplained weepiness. Something random, seen or heard, would touch me unexpectedly and my eyes would fill with tears. Vulnerability in and for our humanity, perhaps. I'm wired to be more stoic than sensitive, but I think so many of us have felt our compassionate hearts burst and spill open recently. As the Mighty Ohio River overflows her banks right now, as do I mine. Along with the emotions has been this dense fog of fatigue. I long for the deep, restorative sleep of which my troubled dreams deprive me.
This morning I thought I ought to check my biorhythms just to see if there might be a clue as to what's going on. Well, there was not only a clue, but a flashing neon sign. R E S T !
I'm an affirmation kind of girl and can pep myself up pretty good by insisting on the right frame of mind. But the older I get, the more I'm learning to be gentle with myself in each moment, especially in the low times. To be curious in and about this space rather than hustle myself through and past it. Bullying is still bullying, even with a sweet voice and the best intentions. Sometimes what's best is for me to leave me be.
Life is a series of cycles. The low times provide space for us to wallow and, eventually, replenish. Of course, we certainly don't want to get stuck here ... and of that there is a risk. But there can be treasures unearthed in these moist and murky places. And for that, today, I am grateful.